Stage 1 – 70 mile road race

Okay, this road race shouldn’t be too hard.  It’s only 70 miles and the first 20 are completely flat.  This will be nothing compared to the 100 mile last stage.  Sweet, police-escorted roll out of town!  I’m sitting too far back in the pack, but that’s okay, I’ve got another 18 miles of flats to go before anything interesting will happen.  I’m still sitting towards the back, but we’ve got 10 miles to go and we’re going 30MPH.  It would be wise to sit in and conserve.  Pace yourself.  Plenty of time to move up.  Okay, we’re about to hit the rolling hills leading up to the big one.  There’s a little uphill, I think I’ll move up.  top 20.  Now I like where I’m at.  Why do those clouds ahead look so dark?  Nah, it wouldn’t rain… What the!?  What’s with the downpour?  I’m soaked.  The rain stings.  I can’t see.  I should take my glasses off.  I still can’t see and now I have rain in my eyes.  I can’t tell if it’s raining or if that’s road spray.  Nope, still raining.  Oh, I have a good joke to tell the guy next to me: “So this must be the swim leg of the triathlon.”  I thought it was funny.  No response.  Head down – trudge on.

Hmm… the slight grade leading up to the real climb is beginning, as are the attacks.  I think I’ll sit up front and find a good wheel, but let some others do some chasing for a while.  This pack is hungry.  They’re not letting anything get away.  My heart rate is getting high, but my legs feel good.  There goes an attack, I think I’ll follow!  Okay, everyone else followed as well.  Uh oh, now we’re at the base of the real climb and I’m not recovered from that attack.  Pain.  Hold on.  My heart rate is 198.  The climb is getting steeper.  We’re flying up this hill.  My heart rate is stil 198.  Can I hold that without cracking?  Where is Pat?  Gah, my heart rate is 197, but somehow I’m not dying off yet.  Where on Earth is the top!? Oh, there it is.  Whew, made it.

What’s this?  We’re not letting up on the descent?  Okay then… I’m spinning out my 53×12.  I wish I had that 11 tooth cog in the back.  Tucking deep trying to hold on.  Can’t lose that wheel… why is my heart rate 190 on this rolling descent?  Is 52 MPH really necessary guys?  At least it looks like I’ve made the lead group of 20 or so out of the 90 that started.  Oh no, that’s a rim on the ground.  Front flat.  We’re flying downhill.  Hold it straight! Come around me guys, hurry!  Okay, made it into the gravel.  Front flat on a descent, that’s a new one.  Quick change and I’m chasing to get back up there, right?  Wait, where’s the wheel car?  Seriously, where is it?  There goes a chase group flying by.  And another.  This is rediculous.  Goodbye GC chances.  Okay, there’s the car.  I need a front!  No, a front!  Yes,  just a front.  Gah, that had to have lost me 5 minutes.  Must chase like crazy to not lose more time.  I caught a chase group.  Let’s work guys.  No?  Okay, goodbye then.  Hey, I caught another chase group?  Not working either?  Then I’ll attack you too.  Okay, finishing straight, I wonder how far back I am.  Coming in alone.  That was almost a great race.  4:56 back for 56th place?  That’s about what I expected.

Hmm, I never saw Pat in one of those chase groups.  That’s not good.  Someone just told me he thought he saw one of my teammates down.  That’s really not good.  I suppose I’ll ride back to the staging area and hope he shows up.  Hmm, my rear wheel feels soft.  It would appear that my rear wheel is going flat as well – you know – just to rub it in.  At least I made it back to the staging area before it was completely flat.  Now where is Pat?  It’s been a while.  Oh, there he is.  Yes, he has indeed crashed.  Some shredded tires and road rash, looks to be okay, but he had it a lot worse than I did today.  Good thing it was raining – it makes for much more  bouncing and skidding off pavement rather than dragging and grinding.

Stage 2 – 11 mile individual time trial

Okay, so yesterday didn’t go as planned.  At least there’s not a ton of pressure to do well today since I’m already a ways down in GC.  Still, I’ll go out there and give it what I’ve got and see if I can make up some time on everybody close to me time-wise overall.  I’m within striking distance of 30th GC.

Seat holder has got me.  Please don’t drop me, that would be lame.  Clipped in.  Deep breaths.  5 seconds.  GO!  Okay, nice sprint up to speed.  The legs are feeling good.  Come on heart rate, get up there!  What is this?  why can’t my heart rate get above 179?  I can’t breathe but my legs have so much more!  I’ll get out of the saddle and sprint to see if I can get my heart rate higher.  Nope.  Gah, it’s been 4 miles.  There’s the turnaround, and my 30 second guy is only 8 seconds ahead.  I think I counted that right.  At least I’ll be beating somebody today!  Okay, my heart rate is up to 185.  A little better.  I’d be happy if it was 193.  I just can’t get to the deep power in my legs.  But hey, I just passed my 30 second guy!   So I knew I had a nice tailwind on the way out, but this headwind is brutal!  I feel like I’m barely moving.  I’m still doing 22 somehow.  Two miles to go.  Hang in there.  Start ramping the intensity – you can hold it.  I said START RAMPING THE INTENSITY!  Okay, there is no more intensity to be ramped today.  Ugh, my 30 second guy just re-passed me.  I can’t let him get too far away.  There’s the finish.  I only let 30 second guy get 5 seconds ahead of me.  Ow, that was not particularly successful.  I’m wheezing like crazy right now, and my legs are barely sore.  25:12… not too bad, over 25MPH average… that should be good enough for… 57TH!?  Ugh.  At least I’m now 53rd in GC.  Moving on up.

Stage 3 – downtown criterium

Well, I’m not particularly a criterium racer, but what the heck, I had fun in the crit at Cherry Blossom, and I can do the same here.  Good start, I’m clipped in quick, let’s go.  BAD START!  The only two guys in front of me are failing miserably at getting clipped in.  Going around.  Sorry guy to the left I just cut off, but I can’t be dropped before the race started.  Sprinting.  Sprinting.  Well this sucks.  I’m sitting in the back of an 80 person field.  There’s the accordian effect.  It’s way too hard to race back here.  Must move up NOW! But where?  Into the headwind, I suppose.  Okay, moved up a bit.  And a bit more.  Well, it’s been six laps but at least I’m now near the front to help Derek.  He’s our guy today.  Hey look, an attack – I’ll chase!  Chase chase chase!  That was fun, now recover.  Hey Derek, I’m here!  Oh, and by the way I can tell you’re already way better at holding your position in a crit than I am.  You’ve probably figured that out as well, since one lap I’m 10 riders in front of you, and the next I’m 10 riders behind you.  Into the finishing straight headwind.  Hey look, the riders in front of me are flying up the side of the pack.  The guy in front of me just pulled off at the front.  That’s it, I’m going.  ATTAAAAAACK!  Don’t look back, keep going.  It’s been like 3 corners and I’m still sprinting – I’d better have a gap by now.  Okay, I do – and a pretty nice one at that.  I’ve got at least a few seconds lead.  Coming up on one lap off the front through the finish line.  Hey, the announcer just said my name!  I won a prime?  Keep digging, you’re not caught yet.  Another half a lap and I’m still away.  No one is trying to bridge to me, but they are slowly starting to reel me in.  Better sit up and rest.  That was fun.  Hey look at that, I’m back at the back of the race.  At least it only took a few laps to move up.  Again.  Hi Derek!  Derek, what are you doing?  WOW, you seriously just sprinted from 40 riders back to nip that prime at the line.  That was awesome.  Two laps to go.  That came about quick.  The rider next to me just lost traction and is sliding into me in the corner.  Oh no, I’m going down!  Hmm, I’m stil upright.  Snap back to reality.  I’ve lost my position up front.  Try to move back up.  So is everyone else.  There’s the finish, I’m way back.  Oh well.

That prime I won?  $50!  It’s all about the Grants, baby!  That just doesn’t have the same ring to it.  30somethingth.  A shame that my best race so far is in my worst discipline.  But that was a ton of fun.  Tomorrow will be epic.

Stage 4 – up a big hill

THIS WASN’T WHAT I MEANT WHEN I SAID EPIC!  Why, rain, why?  And it’s cold too!  100 miles?  This is going to be miserable beyond miserable.  Buck up, Adam.  You can do this.  I’m not giving you any other option.  You’ll be cold and suffer and prove you’re more badass than anyone else.  Finishing this stage today will be harder than winning it would be on a normal-weather day.  I think I’ll make a joke to Candi – “We’re riding out there and straight up the finishing climb, right?”  Haha, good one.  Better go get changed.  Announcement in the parking lot. “You’re riding out there and straight up the finishing climb.”  Huh?  Wha? …um, okay.  I wasn’t THAT serious.  I think she was already thinking about doing that anyway, right?  Well, I guess we’re doing 20 miles of hypothermia today instead of 100.  Except now it’s going to be that much faster and hurt that much more.  Let’s go.

It’s been a mile and I’m already soaked.  My feet are going numb.  I can’t wait for the climb simply because it might present an opportunity to get warm.  CRASH!  That rider next to me has hit a bike on the ground and is going  down.  He’s falling right into me.  Only brushed me.  Still upright.  There’s a bike sliding right into my path.  The bike just hit my front wheel.  I’m still upright.  How?  Whew, made it – have to sprint to get back onto the pack.  The base of the climb is just ahead, and I feel bad for the bunch of riders that just got stuck behind that pileup.  Here’s the base of the climb.  I need to move up or I’m going to get gapped off when some of these slower riders can’t hold the pace.  Top 15.  Now I’m in a good spot.  Pain cave.

This is a long climb.  I’m losing track of time, but we’re still going uphill.  I can’t feel my feet.  Legs are getting tingly.  There’s the 3K marker.  The pace is high, but I’m holding it so far.  We’re coming up on 1K.  About 20 of us left.  Nonononono don’t lose that wheel in front of you.  Don’t do it!  You can hold on.  Drat, lost it.  Look at that, stupid, you’re still pretty much keeping up with them, but now you’re gapped off and won’t be getting back on.  Go go go! Sprint!  Beat PSU guy! Okay, you finished probably less than a minute back of the lead pack.  Maybe even less than 30 seconds.  That’ll work for today.  Hello, warm car!

/Still waiting on Stage 4 & overall GC results.